New resolve

It is a never ending battle....the struggle with weight loss. I've lost the majority of my weight (40 lbs, give or take a few) and only have about 15-20 to go to an ideal weight for me. I've been 15-20 lbs from my ideal weight for about 2 years. I lose a little and gain it back. Then lose some more and gain it all back. I've been as close as 12 lbs from my perfect weight and watched it slip through my fingers again.

I struggle. Every day I make choices, many good, but SO many are not good. Many I don't admit to people - probably not even to myself. While I exercise a ton (which saves me from gaining back all of my weight), I just don't make any progress in the long term with losing the rest of this weight.

I mentioned it last week at a bible study I'm taking with girlfriends from church. We were talking about everyone having a cross to bear and being convicted of something. I half jokingly said "I wish He'd (God) convict me about my problem with the food I keep putting in my mouth." And a friend said something to me. She said "If it's eating you up inside and it is taking your thoughts, time and energy, He already has. You're just choosing to ignore what He wants you to do." Something so simple, yet so profound.

Wednesday night I prayed. I asked for the strength to defeat my lack of self control. For the wisdom to make the correct choices for my body and for the fight to be won and the weight to finally fall away.

I woke up Thursday very much at peace. I am confortable and confident in my decisions and I know that I will be successful in losing the rest of this weight and maintaining my healthy weight.

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in bars, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to this life? Matthew 6:25-27

It's Me Again

I can talk my face off all day long on Facebook, but for some reason I have a difficult time sitting down to put my rambling thoughts into a blog. I guess I'll update with what's new with me.....

Since I last blogged, I ran the Philadelphia Rock and Roll Half Marathon and it was awesome! Great course, perfect weather and great people. Though I hadn't been training nearly as much as I should, I manged to squeak out a PR with a 1:57:38. I was blown away by my ability to push myself. Thankfully the flat course and cool temps worked to my advantage. The course ran long according to my Garmin (and several others), but I still PR'ed. Our Garmin's all registered a course distance of 13.42. The exciting part for me was that when I hit the 13.1 mile mark, my Garmin read 1:54:57. That is mind boggling to me. I feel like I'm a tiny bit FAST! LOL Coming from someone who used to be overweight (okay, my BMI actually said I was obsese) and a couch potato, that is so amazing to me. I'm proud of what my body and mind were able to accomplish.

The Savannah Rock and Roll Marathon and Half is coming up in only 17 more days. I'm super excited about it. So many of our friends are going to be there - I just can't wait! I can't think of the last time I was back in Savannah. It is my favorite city in the world. (You can tell I've never been somewhere super cool like New York or London or Paris!) Running through the streets of the historic district is going to be such a treat for me. Not to mention, my husband will be home 2 days before. So only 14 more days of this deployment!!

Two weeks after Savannah is the Secret City Half Marathon in Oak Ridge, TN (20 minutes from home). It's the course where I broke 2 hours for the first time last year. I'll be anxious to compare times after this year.

Once completing Savannah and Secret City, I'll be eligible to apply to be a Half Fanatic! I'm so excited about that!

Today I'm heading out for a long run - my longest before Savannah. It will be the first time since January that I've run over 13.1 (13.42, ahem) miles. Taking on 14 miles to increase my endurance.

I'm trying something new with my eating. I've been struggling a lot lately - I've hit a plateau for over a year. My weight creeps up, I battle it back down. Yet, I can't cover new ground - what I've dubbed "virgin fat". At my lowest, I'm only about 12 lbs away from my goal weight. I really want to get there. Right now I'm sitting at the higher range, giving me 18 lbs to go. I've decided to get back to using My Fitness Pal to track my calories, but more importantly, I've decided to start "eating clean". Cutting out as much of the processed stuff as possible and saying goodbye to processed sugar and artificial sweeteners. I've got to come to grips 100% with what is going into my mouth if the rest of the weight is going to come off and stay off. Not to mention I am excited of what my body may be able to accomplish once I fill it with good fuel.

I'll report back how it has been going. Until next time.........Run Happy. :)