New resolve

It is a never ending battle....the struggle with weight loss. I've lost the majority of my weight (40 lbs, give or take a few) and only have about 15-20 to go to an ideal weight for me. I've been 15-20 lbs from my ideal weight for about 2 years. I lose a little and gain it back. Then lose some more and gain it all back. I've been as close as 12 lbs from my perfect weight and watched it slip through my fingers again.

I struggle. Every day I make choices, many good, but SO many are not good. Many I don't admit to people - probably not even to myself. While I exercise a ton (which saves me from gaining back all of my weight), I just don't make any progress in the long term with losing the rest of this weight.

I mentioned it last week at a bible study I'm taking with girlfriends from church. We were talking about everyone having a cross to bear and being convicted of something. I half jokingly said "I wish He'd (God) convict me about my problem with the food I keep putting in my mouth." And a friend said something to me. She said "If it's eating you up inside and it is taking your thoughts, time and energy, He already has. You're just choosing to ignore what He wants you to do." Something so simple, yet so profound.

Wednesday night I prayed. I asked for the strength to defeat my lack of self control. For the wisdom to make the correct choices for my body and for the fight to be won and the weight to finally fall away.

I woke up Thursday very much at peace. I am confortable and confident in my decisions and I know that I will be successful in losing the rest of this weight and maintaining my healthy weight.

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in bars, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to this life? Matthew 6:25-27

It's Me Again

I can talk my face off all day long on Facebook, but for some reason I have a difficult time sitting down to put my rambling thoughts into a blog. I guess I'll update with what's new with me.....

Since I last blogged, I ran the Philadelphia Rock and Roll Half Marathon and it was awesome! Great course, perfect weather and great people. Though I hadn't been training nearly as much as I should, I manged to squeak out a PR with a 1:57:38. I was blown away by my ability to push myself. Thankfully the flat course and cool temps worked to my advantage. The course ran long according to my Garmin (and several others), but I still PR'ed. Our Garmin's all registered a course distance of 13.42. The exciting part for me was that when I hit the 13.1 mile mark, my Garmin read 1:54:57. That is mind boggling to me. I feel like I'm a tiny bit FAST! LOL Coming from someone who used to be overweight (okay, my BMI actually said I was obsese) and a couch potato, that is so amazing to me. I'm proud of what my body and mind were able to accomplish.

The Savannah Rock and Roll Marathon and Half is coming up in only 17 more days. I'm super excited about it. So many of our friends are going to be there - I just can't wait! I can't think of the last time I was back in Savannah. It is my favorite city in the world. (You can tell I've never been somewhere super cool like New York or London or Paris!) Running through the streets of the historic district is going to be such a treat for me. Not to mention, my husband will be home 2 days before. So only 14 more days of this deployment!!

Two weeks after Savannah is the Secret City Half Marathon in Oak Ridge, TN (20 minutes from home). It's the course where I broke 2 hours for the first time last year. I'll be anxious to compare times after this year.

Once completing Savannah and Secret City, I'll be eligible to apply to be a Half Fanatic! I'm so excited about that!

Today I'm heading out for a long run - my longest before Savannah. It will be the first time since January that I've run over 13.1 (13.42, ahem) miles. Taking on 14 miles to increase my endurance.

I'm trying something new with my eating. I've been struggling a lot lately - I've hit a plateau for over a year. My weight creeps up, I battle it back down. Yet, I can't cover new ground - what I've dubbed "virgin fat". At my lowest, I'm only about 12 lbs away from my goal weight. I really want to get there. Right now I'm sitting at the higher range, giving me 18 lbs to go. I've decided to get back to using My Fitness Pal to track my calories, but more importantly, I've decided to start "eating clean". Cutting out as much of the processed stuff as possible and saying goodbye to processed sugar and artificial sweeteners. I've got to come to grips 100% with what is going into my mouth if the rest of the weight is going to come off and stay off. Not to mention I am excited of what my body may be able to accomplish once I fill it with good fuel.

I'll report back how it has been going. Until next time.........Run Happy. :)

Heavy heart and hard decisions

Something has been weighing on my mind for a few weeks now and I just can't shake it. I'm having to make a decision that I don't want to have to make. My husband is in the military (for those that don't know) and is going to be deploying to the Middle East for the month of October. As far as deployments go - it's a cinch...just a month. Nothing to really even notice. It isn't 6 months, it isn't a year. But it is in the middle of training for the Savannah Marathon.

I haven't been training....my 16 week program started 4 weeks ago. And I've run about 16 miles in the 4 weeks. The heat has really been burning me out and making it hard for me to find my motivation. While I was on vacation last week I was deciding whether or not to start a 12 week training program (beginning today). I looked at the schedule and it is possible (as long as the weather cools by 25 degrees in the next 2 days). The problem is the three 20 mile training runs are all scheduled for October.

I'm a stay at home mom of a 5 year old and 2 year old. Thankfully school starts up soon and my 2 year old will be in preschool two days a week. I will have 4 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays to work out and run. I just don't think it is possible to run 20 miles between the time I drop off and pick up the kids. I could squeeze in the actual mileage - 20 miles would be about 3 hours and 20 minutes. But I just don't think the logistics are possible. Not to mention being totally fried after a 20 mile run and having to go straight to the elementary school to get my kindergartener. I don't want to ask my parents to keep the kids on Saturdays for 1/2 of the day (or longer) for 3 weeks, plus the 4 days they are keeping them for the actual trip to Savannah.

I'm going to train for the next week or two like I'm still training for the marathon, but I suspect that very soon I will have to decide to change my registration for Savannah to the half marathon. My heart is broken, but I just do not think it is possible to do it all.

Fell off the wagon

Trying to get back to blogging. I started a site on Facebook with the same name as the blog - Mom and Running It. Going to try to use each of the sites to cover all of my bases. I'm not sure what I'm doing.....I just know I want to do this. Some how, talking about running and encouraging/motivating others has become like a calling to me. Hopefully this calling will eventually earn me something other than praise - though I LURVE getting the praise! Somehow there is a business opportunity in this.....I just know it.

Anyway...........training for the Savannah Marathon is underway - this is week 3 - I just completed a 4 mile tempo run this morning. 3 miles at pace - approx 8:30. The more I think about trying to run 13.1 miles that fast in Philadelphia in September, the more I feel a panic attack looming. It's just so hot, that training in this heat is bringing me down. After mondo success at the Secret City 1/2 last November, I think I'm going to save the big guns for then. Philly is still favorable for a PR, but I suspect it will be in the 1-2 minute range, not 5-7. Doesn't matter, though - every second off of a PR is a victory.

Somehow I managed to drop the ball and between procrastination, our trip to the beach coming up, and the Philly 1/2, I've missed the dates for every single triathlon this summer. The thought was to do 1-2 sprints this year to get ready for an Oly in June and a 1/2 Ironman next fall. Thinking about a 1/2 Ironman in just over a year makes me sweat kittens. Funny thing about a HiM, my husband, who has no interest in triathlons or in tattoos announced today that he had a vision of himself getting an M dot tattoo.

It will be interesting to see where to road to triathlon leads each of us in the next year or two.

I always knew I was a little crazy.......

.....but am I Insane? I'm going to be. In my effort (ahem......struggle) to shed the rest of my excess baggage, I've decided to try something new. Insanity is a 60 Day exercise program with nutrition plan. Because I wasn't kicking my own ass well enough alone, I decided to pay $150 to have someone else do it for me.

I think it is going to be an interesting ride and will be enough of a shock to my system that my body will finally submit and lose these last 20 lbs. Either that, or I will drop dead trying. Off we go!!

I'm not a swimmer

It's funny to think of myself as a non-swimmer. Of course I can swim. I grew up with a pool in the backyard, we have a neighborhood pool that I frequent with the kids in the summer. We own a boat - I spend most Saturdays in the summer neck deep with a life jacket and a beer. But I'm not a "swimmer".

Other than taking lessons on "how not to drown" when I was about 6, I've never taken a lesson. Or learned to swim, or swam a stroke, been on a swim team of any variety. I just "swim". Or as my favorite author (Jen Lancaster) says, I "wallow" in the pool. I flounder, I doggie paddle, I float. But I don't know how to actually "swim".

Last summer I started going to the neighborhood pool to swim laps because I wanted to cross-train with my running and because I eventually want to do a triathlon. Mostly I swam what I think of as "the crawl". I would just swim with my head never moving and my arms and legs moving under the surface. It works, but it is SLOW and I'm burning very little energy.

Last week I decided it is time to learn to swim. Actually swim. I talked to the Aquatics Director at the Y and she said she'd hook me up with an instructor (I suspect she thought I was crazy when I told her the swim lessons weren't for my 5 year old, but for myself). By coincidence, a friend of mine, who is an employee at the Y, offered to instruct me for free.

FYI - the $65 I saved is going into my "I need a bike fund".

So this morning, with my swim suit on and my goggles in hand, I joined Shannon at the pool to learn to swim laps. Turns out my "freestyle" wasn't even close - and here I was thinking I looked like Michael Phelps while I wallowed the length of the pool. Not even close, but after a little instruction, I'm getting better.

I tend to turn my head forwards without meaning to after I've taken a breath. My legs go all crazy as I'm taking my breath and I suck in lots of water. But I'm getting better. I figured out how to twist my head side to side without looking forward. I learned to turn my head up further to grab that breath so I don't suck in a gallon of salt water. I'm trying to better control my leg motion as I'm concentrating on the breathing.

I am no Michael Phelps, but I can finally say that I can swim. I can't wait to get in the pool again and work on an actual workout. The pool swim for my first tri is about as short as they come - 150 meters. But I can say that in July, I'll be ready.

Now, about that bike............

Just when things were going well

I was SO excited to really be back on track this week. I had to great outdoor runs - a tempo and an awesome interval workout. Then the stomach bug invaded my house. I might not have been working out for the later part of this week, but I've lost a nice amount of weight! HA Not what I intended.

I feel better enough to workout, but with two sick kiddos and an out of town hubby, it's not in the cards. It's days like this I really, really miss my treadmill.

My husband comes home tomorrow - I might even meet him at the door with a can of Lysol in my hand and my running shoes on my feet "tag, you're it!!"

There always seems to be a setback as a try to ramp up again. Ah well, the good news is I can still get out there on Sunday. I'll still meet my mileage goal for the week. But I wanted to get ahead and have a couple of cross training workouts under my belt.

I'm excited - there's always next week. I'm going on a girls weekend with 4 of my favorite ladies - to Lake Tahoe! Woohoo!! I cannot wait. The good news is that one of my favorite running buddies is one of the girls going! I am so looking forward to heading out for a long run in Incline Village with Alissa! It's going to be awesome - even if they don't have oxygen at that altitude!